Shiloh, IL (Hi 88 Lo 65)
I came back from my sister's on Monday. I had a hard time coming into the apartment for the first time alone. It's the emptiness that's getting to me. There's so many women that have walked this path of losing a partner, so I'm trying to pull myself together and get things done.
I'm coming across things you'll need after a spouse's death. ALL passwords to the subscriptions online and anything else that's password protected. The computer itself may have a password. I knew that one so no problem. If the spouse is computer savvy, there's tons of subscriptions to cancel. This week was waiting on the death certificates so I could cancel and change info for insurance, military insurance and pay, dentals changes, There's so much to get done. I had one of the companies to call as early as possible before people start calling from different time zones. By 2:30 I had made 10 calls and everyone answered and paperwork is on the way for signing.
This is from a blog reader and very good info. Thank you Phyllis E. for the info
I would suggest to all .... copy of will to each child. (We have 5 between us and want all to have an understanding). A spread sheet of who to notify with numbers given to one of the children. Another spread sheet listing items that we want certain people to be given. Another list given to each child of where things are such as key to safes, list of passwords, all financial info such as number of Financial planner and what bills are paid online, etc.
I picked up the death certificates on Thursday. I had seven copies made which is what was suggested by several people. Since Covid is still in effect a lot of meetings are online and paperwork scanned and emailed. There is a few like Social Security that wants the original which will be sent back. I never trust the mailing system so hopefully it will work for a change and get it there and back.
I want to thank you for the prayers, cards and calls this week. It's so surreal it's only been a week but in some ways it seems like a year. I found out you have to have a marriage license along with the death certificate. I thought all was ok, but now I can't get into online banking and I can't get into the car insurance online website. I'll have to make more calls on Monday.
Friday was the North Carolina zoom meeting with everyone. One couple was missing but still got caught up on this weeks activities. The MS bike ride was last weekend in New Bern. I've worked the one years ago in Raleigh with amateur radio, so that was a good update. This should be a better week.
I'm putting in the time-line for Jim. I want it where I can always find it and also for others to know what we went thru for Glioblastoma.
GLIOBLASTOMA – 4
This is a week or month observation from a wife’s point of view
Three day travel, speech was slurred, barely audible at times
May 23 we arrived in Illinois with the kids
In one day, the speech wasn’t good, almost not understandable
Hospital May 25,
Barnes in St Louis
MRI showed tumor 2.3 cm
August 20, Nurse says maybe end of next week will be the last, started oxygen machine
August 31, impacted bowel. Used fleet for enema, eating a lot less
During
the night gave ativan and morphine
Total damage: No right side feeling or use, no speech from the very beginning, lost eyesight, no walking or moving much.
9 comments:
Good to put the timeline in writing for the future. It gets better day by day. Lots to do, I hated the paperwork that you have to do. Good that you got lots of death certs. I found only a handful want original copies. It all gets done eventually, hang in there.
You are an inspiration to others who will have to go through this trauma. Take comfort in that.
I would suggest to all .... copy of will to each child. (We have 5 between us and want all to have an understanding). A spread sheet of who to notify with numbers given to one of the children. Another spread sheet listing items that we want certain people to be given. Another list given to each child of where things are such as key to safes, list of passwords, all financial info such as number of Financial planner and what bills are paid online, etc.
Again, hugs and love sent to you.
Still praying for you! Thank you for sharing vital information, despite your loss. So many are praying and pulling for you. Hang in there. 💔
Moving forward is the hardest to do. We were camping, so I had time to get used to being ‘alone’ during my cross country drive. Now, it’s easier, but never easy. It gets lonely, but thank Godfrey Christian radio.
You are a strong woman Dee. You are handling everything beautifully! Jim would be so pleased and proud of you. Remembering you in our prayers.
Jim & Judy
Months after my husband died, I received two checks for class action lawsuits that he had signed up for. You know those little papers you get occasionally. One check was for $573. and the other was for $57. I hadn't even known that he had done that.
A tenant sent me a letter from an insurance company a year after my mother-in-law died. Her son ended up with an extra $15,000 from a policy he didn't know about.
My advice. OPEN EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME ON IT EVEN IF IT LOOKS LIKE JUNK!!!!
Don't forget to take care of yourself. Ann M
When my father died, who was retired Army, the Army sent someone to help my mother with all of this. It sounds like that is a thing of the past. So sad.
OMG Dee! I had no idea about Jim - I am so so sorry. I just read back on the past few months and I’m a bit stunned. Bill and I send our deepest condolences.
Dee, I initially went to this blog to let Jim know that one of his coworkers at Progress, Dave Watts, was retiring. I started looking at this blog and now have a very empty feeling. Jim and I lost touch since he left the company, but I kept up with your travels for a while. I always enjoyed chatting and working with him…..you never knew what he was going to say next ! He was always so proud of his military service and he was buried with military honors.
Hank Dickson
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