Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Still Searching

(NC State Fairgrounds, Raleigh, NC)  Hi 78 Lo 58 -- No time for a detailed post today. We've been on the go all day between seeing mom at the rehab and visiting assisted care places. We're on a 1-hour break at home before we have to leave for Fayetteville (75 miles away) to meet with mom's financial advisor. We'll get back at midnight or later, so we're doing this short note now. More tomorrow.


Margie and Roger said...

So sorry to read about your mom. I've been behind on reading blogs also. Hopefully you will find the right assisted living facility. Those photos looked nice. Thank goodness for having wheels.

Budd Nash said...

We found that there are a lot of hidden rules about placememnt. One that popped up was that very few of the assisted living centers take medicaid.

Another is what you found, it is much easier to get into a facility if coming directly from a hospital.

The third one is that there is a lot, and I mean, a lot of paperwork that has to be done exactly right before it is all finished.. .or, in some cases, even started.

Count on everyone not doing their paperwork quite right, especially the doctors and hospital folks. The most common thing we ran into was the use of terms on paperwork that were not "exactly" right. For instance, the word disabled must be used consistently on all documentation and the use of "impaired" as a substitute anywhere, can add another 6 weeks or more to the end of the paper chase.

In a lot of cases, it is not possible to know this until it has been done improperly and a bunch of weeks of no response go by before you start digging into the cause of the delay.

Double check, even triple check everything and look for things to seem exactly right before you accept it as finished.

Moving from one facility to another, even within the same system, is no less fraught with these errors and omissions. It is worse than IRS speak to figure out.

Beyond that, once she is settling into a room, be sure that simple logistical things have been done to fit her needs.

For instance, if she has some impairment that makes one side of her body, arm, leg, etc. weaker than the other, that the bathroom that goes with her room, has handgrips on her STRONG side so she does not have a much potential for falling. Often, these assists are placed only on one side of the facilities to be used.

I promise you that once she is truly settled into a facility that you really know will support her needs, you will both feel a sudden and profound moment of loss, relief and then uncertainty about your own plans. It will pass in a little time. With some ongoing evidences that her new home really is living up to your hopes and expectations you will be able to gradually release your trepidation and settle back into your own life.

It takes awhile to get to this point but trust that it will come for you and Jim. It surely will.

Sorry that you have to be dealing with this during the State Fair, though. Logistically, that is a tough part of town to get around.

Since they cut Edwards Mill all the way through to 54, it has been a big help. A jog over to Hillsboro through GermanTown Rd and all of the Cary/Apex and Garner/Fuquay are available without having to get on the beltline or go through the Fairgrounds.